Your BCS Football Team as Drug

Once again, the brain-trust over at EDSBS reveal their true genius by figuring out what drug every major college football team would be. I highly recommend giving the whole thing a read. It covers the main conferences. Here are South Carolina, Clemson, and a few of my other favorites:

SOUTH CAROLINA: Gas-huffing. Hard to explain the appeal to non-devotees. Headaches, vomiting, delusions. Users are loyal beyond all reason.

LSU: Bourbon. Fuel for great achievements and ill-advised sexual escapades. Might make love to you. Might kill you with a shovel. Damages long term memory with repeated exposures.

OHIO STATE: Weed. Wildly popular. Gets smoked by SEC football players in bowls.

OKLAHOMA: Whiskey. Powerful highs. Side effects may include impotence problems in certain high-pressure situations.

CLEMSON: Whippits. Makes everything hilarious yet seem possible. You'll only keep doing it if the guy of legal buying age gets some for your friends, too. High collapses almost immediately.

NOTRE DAME: Laudanum in a lead glass jar. Crippling and old-fashioned because that's how we've always done it.

BOISE: PCP. Because even other drugs are like, "I ain't goin' near that shit."

Boise and Ohio State are probably the best. However, as a Gamecock fan, I would have to say that gas-huffing is exactly what being a Gamecock fan is like.

Again, read the whole thing. This is the kind of stuff that happens over at EDSBS to get you through the summer doldrums.