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Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Rolling Stone Confirms That They Don't Know Jack About Guns

The magazine that is the authoritative source about firearms has a new piece out about the "The 5 Most Dangerous Guns in America".

No, it's not Guns & Ammo. It's Rolling Stone. I mean, when you think of expert analysis on firearms, you automatically (or at least semi-automatically) think of Rolling Stone. Or am I alone here?

Anyway, the firearm experts over at Rolling Stone have come up with a list of the most dangerous types of firearms. I'm sure this was published after extensive research and serious thought. You ready? They're about to drop some knowledge on you. Seriously, they're about to tell you "These firearms are causing the most harm." You ready? There is a lot of knowledge (and some music) below the jump.




Top 5 Most Dangerous Guns (According to Rolling Stone):

1. Pistols
2. Revolvers
3. Rifles
4. Shotguns
5. Derringers

Seriously, you guys. That's their thoughtful analysis. Seriously.

Also, a derringer? Are you kidding me? What is this, a Kansas City whorehouse in 1873? Also, I would object to artillery and carbines being left off the list along with water guns, radar guns, nerf guns, caulking guns, staple guns, nail guns, ray guns, potato gun, and Tim Gunn.

I love that they list pistols, revolvers, and derringers all separately. That's just adorable. I guess if they had just said "Handguns" it would only be a top 3 list. Wait, I can't believe the forgot Peter Gunn!



In related news, I have some other Rolling Stone-type top 5 lists:

Top 5 things that liberal journalists know about firearms:
     1. Not a damn thing.
     2. Nothing at all.
     3. Absolutely jack squat.
     4. Nil. (World Cup Edition)
     5. Zero.

Top 5 most effective exercises:

1. Running
2. Biking
3. Swimming
4. Lifting heavy things
5. Some combination of the above

Top 5 Deadliest bullets, going in reverse order this time: 

5. Ball 
4. Minie Ball 
3. Cast lead
2. boat tailed jacketed hollow point 
1. Steve McQueen as Bullitt

I mean, it's just silly. Rolling Stone has people who are talking about soemething they don't understand. I figured it out. What's my prize?

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