School Principal: Let's Bring a Can of Soup to a Gunfight

Here, take one of these.

A school principal in Alabama has decided that the way to deal with an armed school shooter threat is to hit him with a can of soup?

As a result of school shootings through the United States and discussing with law enforcement on the best procedure to follow to keep our students safe, we are enhancing our procedure for intruders.

The procedure will be the same as we have done in the past with the addition of arming our students with a canned food item. We realize this may seem odd; however, it is a practice that would catch an intruder off-guard. The canned food item could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive. The canned food item will give the students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel secure in case an intruder enters their classroom.

I can almost picture the meeting where the principal came up with this idea. She was sitting there in the meeting, and then exclaimed: Hey, I watched a rerun of Crocodile Dundee on TBS last night, and I have a great idea! Let's throw cans of soup at any school shooter! It totally works, y'all!

Seriously? We're now "arming our students with a canned food item"? I guess it's the theory that the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good student with a Campbell's Soup can.

This is what passes for smart policy in our public schools these days. If you want to make students feel safe, how about put an armed police officer in the school? And when I say "armed" I mean with a firearm, not with a can of Chicken Noodle.

It's too bad the school principal didn't watch The Untouchables.