Short Suits: DO NOT Do This - Be A Man And Wear Some Damn Pants

The suit

Fellas: bring it in, and take a knee.

Do not. I repeat, do not do this. No one wants to see you do this. There is no reason to ever wear a "short suit".

Apparently, Business Insider says these are "going mainstream". It seems that J. Crew, Asos, and Barneys are pushing this horrible idea. According to J. Crew's description you're "almost guaranteed to win the battle for best-dressed at nearly every summer occasion."

Look, the only thing you're "almost guaranteed" is that you're almost guaranteed that you'll never procreate with a woman if you wear this.

Don't give me: But Bryan, it's hot outside...Suck it up. You're a man. Wear pants like a man. If you have to wear a suit in the summer someplace hot like Columbia, wear it like a man. Wear some linen, wear some seersucker, wear any lightweight fabric you like, but for goodness sake - wear some damn pants.

Rep. Sanford on House Floor in T-Shirt and Shorts

Hey, at least he wasn't taking pictures of his junk and sending it around to random strangers.

Guys: Upgrade Your Sandals to Boatshoes

With a little inspiration from The Shop Tart, I'm going to try and throw out some cool "guy stuff" in the world of clothing and equipment every once in awhile. Don't get your hopes up too much, as she sets a pretty high bar in the world of clothing and all things glamorous. I'm a simple man. But I'll give it a run anyway.

For my first installment, it's now June. That means summertime heat, and parties on boats and at the beach and lake. Even though most guys opt for sandals when they want to go casual, you can upgrade from the sandal to the boatshoe. There's nothing wrong with that old pair of Reefs that you have. However, sometimes you need to take it to the next level.

The boatshoe is a staple of the southern man's southern closet. You need at least one pair. First, the boatshoe has the advantage of actually being a shoe. People aren't going to actually see your feet, and some guys could probably benefit from not putting their feet on display. Also, being a shoe, you have a little added foot protection, which is kind of the point of footwear anyway. To that end, you can go with a classic Sperry Top-Sider, or you can upgrade to a Gold Cup A/O (that stands for "Authentic Original) Sperry, which brings a little swagger to your shoe.

All you single gentlemen listen up: If you roll up to your next outdoor/lake party in these, you're definitely going to get some "nice shoes" comments from the ladies. That's my tip for you.

Men's Gold Cup A/O Boat Shoe

Now, these Sperrys are $150.00, so we're talking about a pretty expensive casual shoe. But let's be honest here; this shoe is about a thousand time cooler than the Reefs that you have. Yes, even the ones with the bottle opener on the bottom. For you Clemson fans out there, this Sperry also comes in an orange version for you.

If you're not here for the southern men's clothing and gear, don't worry, the political commentary, guns, and sports aren't going away, this is just something new I'm adding to the mix.

How to Button your Suit Jacket

Every time I go to Court I see these rules violated by guys who don't wear jackets very often. For goodness sakes, y'all. If you sit down, unbutton your blazer.