Does Your Toddler Hate Itchy Clothing and Recoil from Loud Noises?

Why is everything a "disorder" these days?

For most toddlers, tantrums and clumsiness are just a part of life, something they grow out of. Yet a burgeoning number of parents, like Pamela Trigg, are reporting that their children exhibit baffling, intense behaviors. Some overreact, recoiling from loud noises or refusing to wear itchy clothes. Others underreact, showing little reaction to pain or crashing their bodies into walls.

Wait, what? First of all, no one that I know of (adult or child) likes to wear "itchy clothes". So let's just make sure we're not confused here. There's no such thing as "itchy clothes disorder". That's called wanting to be comfortable. And "recoiling from loud noises" is a symptom as well? Are you serious? If you find that baffling, like this "burgeoning number of parents" do, you may need to consult a therapist - for yourself.

Apparently, I've been suffering from "itchy clothing disorder" AND "loud noise aversion disorder" all my life.

Sure, sometimes kids just overreact to stuff, and sometimes they're pushing limits. However, under this theory of "sensory processing disorder" there is a whole new world of stuff opening up.

Parents can invest in “sensory-friendly” products and attire, from weighted vests to chewable jewelry. They can fit their homes with sensory gyms (some parents have launched crowdfundingcampaigns for home therapy equipment). They can send their children to schools that cater to students’ sensory intolerances and allow them to move around, take breaks and wear headphones. Public libraries host sensory storytimes, theaters stage quiet performances with modified lighting, museums conduct out-of-hours tours with cool-down rooms. Even hair salons are beginning to offer “sensory friendly” cuts.

Sensory friendly attire? Is that like the t-shirts that don't have the little tags in the back? Weighted vests? Are you kidding me? I would never put a weighted vest on a toddler. That sounds ridiculous, and it's probably not super-safe.

But quiet rooms actually sound nice. Maybe we could all benefit from some quiet rooms from time to time. I don't mean to discount actual disorders, but I think we're getting a little far afield here...

(via Althouse)

What the Hell Is Wrong With People?

I have a two year old son. He's pretty much the most important thing I have going on right now. Most of my time at home centers around him. I'm not saying that I'm Dad of The Year, but I'm doing OK. However, I just don't understand how people can have children and live like animals.

The story in The State throws in the splashy stuff about the loaded guns, which is certainly an issue, but what I just don't understand is how people can live in such horrible conditions.

The deputy found a 12-gauge shotgun and .22-caliber rifle, loaded and with the safety mechanisms off within reach of the children, ages 2 and 4, in the master bedroom, the report states. The deputy found more dirty clothes, rotting food and soiled linens on the children's beds. The deputy confiscated the weapons, the report states.

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/2013/10/22/3052587/dss-loaded-weapons-filthy-conditions.html#storylink=cpy

The loaded weapons are obviously an accident waiting to happen. If you've read my blog at all, you know I'm a gun guy, so I don't have problems with having guns in a house, but you've got to be smart about it. You can't just have loaded weapons around with kids in the house. Especially at that age. They're old enough to get into things, but not old enough to know how dangerous things are. There's no excuse. It's monumentally stupid to the point of being criminally negligent.

However, what really gets me is the rotting food in the children's bed. What the hell is wrong with these people? That's not just an accidental thing. You've got to really be neglectful to allow food to rot. And in your child's bed? Are you kidding me? Heck, animals don't even live in conditions that bad. I apologize to the animals I offended with my earlier comparison.

I see stuff like this, and I realize how far our problems go. In my last post, I was discussing what books we should be reading to be good citizens. These people need to be reading fundamentals on how to clean up after your children before we start in on The Federalist Papers.

I just don't get it. What do you do with people like this?

The Pacifier Controversy

As the parent of a child who is almost two years old (He’ll be two in September) I’m definitely still in the “Rookie Parent” camp. Like all other parents I’m protective of my child, but I’m pretty easy-going about most things that aren’t that big of a deal, and I don’t pretend that my way of doing things is better than anyone else’s. However, I have started to realize that there are some parents who have deeply held dogmatic beliefs about child-rearing techniques and methods.

Case in point: I took my son to day-care today, and he’s being fussy because he wants to stay with me, rather than go to day-care with his friends. I know this will change eventually, and he’ll probably make me drop him off two blocks away from the school because he’s embarrassed of his dad. So I’m in the elevator with him and a stranger, and my son is just standing there whining in more of a cry that isn’t really any words – he's just making noise in protest, really.

I looked at the stranger and said something along the lines of “When he was younger, I could just pop a pacifier in his mouth and get some quiet, you know?” That's all I said. Pretty harmless kind of a half joke.

I was kind of just expecting a laugh or some kind of commiseration from the other adult in the elevator. However, that wasn’t the response I got from my elevator cohort. They kind of gave me a stern and icy look was like I had said: “When he was younger, I could just give him a glass of bourbon and get him to pass out.”

This little trip in the elevator suddenly got really awkward when this person responded with “I don’t believe in pacifiers, they’re controversial.” I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Luckily, the elevator ride ended, and we excused ourselves, as the elevator carried the stranger up a few more floors. On the ride into work I was thinking about what they said: “I don’t believe in pacifiers...”

That really doesn’t make sense to me. This person doesn’t believe in them? Pacifiers aren’t something that you take on faith, like God’s divine providence. It’s just a little rubber/plastic thing that you give to babies. It’s not something that you believe in. It’s just a thing. And controversial? I was not aware of that. I did a little research, and found that there are plenty of parents who think that pacifiers are either the devil’s creation, a tool of the baby-industrial complex, or a combination of both.

And the parents who don’t use pacifiers are Very Proud of this fact and want everyone to know they don’t use these evil and highly controversial things. Pacifiers are controversial? I don’t think so. Abortion is controversial. Religion is controversial. Whether to intervene militarily in Syria is controversial. The scope and role of the Federal government is controversial. According to some “mommy blogs” the use of pacifiers belongs in the same category as all of these other things.

I’m not saying that I’m on Team Pacifier, but I’m certainly not going to go around and judge people who do or do not use pacifiers with their children. It’s just not that big of a deal. When your 6 month old kid is crying at 3:00AM, you try anything you can to get him to stop crying. I just can’t imagine standing on the principle of being on Team No-Passy and letting my son cry when I could give him a pacifier and solve the problem. That’s not the time to be a suffragette for Team No-Passy. You want to go to sleep, and you want to soothe your child. There’s a reason that pacifiers work. I’m not sure what it is, but there’s a reason.

Anyway, I just think if you love your kids and act in their best interests there’s plenty of ways to do little things. The funny thing is that parents have all of this conflicting advice. I mean holy moly, don’t even start looking at all of the people who have strong feelings about breast feeding. The people on each side of that issue make the Civil War look like a high school debate.

Just be a good parent, relax, and quit trying to tell everyone else what to do. But it's probably not a good idea to give your 8 month old bourbon. I've read lots of studies that babies prefer scotch. (Just kidding. Please do not send me an irate e-mail about giving babies bourbon or scotch.)

Co-Sleeping With Your Baby

The Milwaukee Health Department runs an ad that says sleeping with your baby is like sleeping with a knife. Overdoing it a little?

This is clearly based on anecdotal evidence, but you can base anything on anecdotal evidence. I'm sure the Milwaukee Health Department has all their other problems solved, so they've moved on to the real problems of moms who sleep with their babies.

[Hat Tip: Mrs. Permanent Press]