Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Six Driving Tips From Racing School

File this under News You Can Use (Carefully).

By comparison, the classic piece from P.J. O'Rourke titled "How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink" is educational, in a different way. Also funnier.

A taste of O'Rourke's piece:
When it comes to taking chances, some people like to play poker or shoot dice; other people prefer to parachute-jump, go rhino hunting, or climb ice floes, while still others engage in crime or marriage. But I like to get drunk and drive like a fool. Name me, if you can, a better feeling than the one you get when you're half a bottle of Chivas in the bag with a gram of coke up your nose and a teenage lovely pulling off her tube top in the next seat over while you're going a hundred miles an hour down a suburban side street. You'd have to watch the entire Mexican air force crash-land in a liquid petroleum gas storage facility to match this kind of thrill. If you ever have much more fun than that, you'll die of pure sensory overload, I'm here to tell you. 
If you didn't like that intro, don't bother reading the rest. If you're intrigued, I encourage you to read the whole thing.

(Warning: It's safe for work, but your mother would not approve.)

[h/t Ace's Place]

4 comments:

  1. Best advice on driving fast in the O'Rourke piece:

    "...there's a lot of debate on this subject – about what kind of car handles best. Some say a front-engined car; some say a rear-engined car. I say a rented car."

    Best (ie, most universal) tip from Jalopnik article: "5. Eyes up here."
    That's the first driving tip I remember getting from my Dad way, way, way back when. For street-driving in an 'old lady' car like mine, the others need some revision but the basic principles are there.

    Has Mrs. Permanent Press ever told you about the 2 or 3 mile stretch on FM 449 just west of Marshall that I loved driving too fast on? Hills and perfectly banked curves... wish I'd had my SHO when that was a daily drive.

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