How Do You Correctly Pronounce "Certiorari"?

Even the Justices of the US Supreme Court can't agree.

Yet another sign of a divided U.S. Supreme Court: The justices cannot even agree on how to pronounce the word “certiorari.”

A new and somewhat whimsical research article reveals that justices are “profoundly divided” into at least six camps on the proper way to say that Latin word.

“There was only one point of unanimous agreement,” legal scholar James Duane wrote in the latest edition of The Green Bag legal journal. "They all pronounce the beginning of the word “ser,” presumably because of its obvious resemblance to certain."

I'd be interested to see how the South Carolina Supreme Court Justices come down on pronouncing it. I think we would certainly say it a little more slowly and maybe let the ARRR sound lengthen out a little bit, softening and rounding out the word.

Sounds like a good research project for a law clerk.

Long Answer to a Gun Question

Brad Warthen asked a question in a comment on a blog post regarding guns yesterday. His comment/question was:

I’m probably going to show my ignorance here, but doesn’t a 9mm or a .38 caliber slug have a lot more stopping power than a .223?

Admittedly, I can barely hit a wall with a handgun, but I’m sort of thinking this is less about marksmanship and more about bringing a weapon to bear quickly in the general direction of an intruder. How many burglars are going to stick around to see how good a shot you are when the room is filled with the roar of a handgun, and a muzzle flash has stabbed out in their general direction?

Which sort of takes us back to a previous discussion about dogs, another excellent answer to the question, “What is most likely to make a burglar leave your house immediately and never want to come back?”

Now, if we’re talking about something else here, if the issue is whether one can most reliably kill an intruder, rather than run him off (or get him down on the floor with his hands behind his head), then we’re getting into a different sort of discussion, with very different ethical implications.

I didn't have time to write this essay at the time, and I know he probably doesn't want my long-winded answer over on his blog anyway, so I'm posting it here. If you're not a gun person, please skip this and wait for additional content. If you like guns and ballistics, you probably already know most of this.

First, let’s deal with first principles. When you are in a home defense situation, your goal as the homeowner is to stop the intruder from attacking you. If he wasn’t attacking you or causing you to reasonably fear for your life and/or personal safety, then you shouldn’t be shooting at him. You should probably be yelling at him. Someone rooting around in your outside rose garden shouldn’t be shot. Someone running down your hallway towards your bedroom with a knife probably should be shot. (Hey, the first rule of a gun fight is to bring a gun. Sorry, bro.)

For purposes of this, we’ll assume that you’ve decided to fire your firearm to stop the assailant. Notice I said “stop”, not kill. You want the bad guy to stop doing whatever it is they are doing that caused you be afraid for your life. Whether they live or die is really irrelevant, and that’s their problem, not yours.