House of Cards: Season 3

Since Season Three of House of Cards came out at midnight last night, I thought you might enjoy this overview of the last two seasons.

h/t David Smith

Weekend Plans? I'll Be Crusading

Like most of y'all, my weekend plans involve some backyard grilling, a little work around the house, oh, and probably some crusades.

Enjoy the crusades, y'all. It is the weekend, after all.

Cat Gun Safety Open Thread

Open Thread. So talk to your cat about gun safety...or whatever you feel like.

Carolina/Clemson Hateweek: Wednesday - Analysis

Enough with the taunting.

Pretty good Q&A over here. It was informative for me because I haven't really followed Clemson much. I was not aware that Clemson's big weakness was O-Line.

Ok, well, maybe a little more taunting is in order.

Politically Correct Scene from "The Godfather"

Courtesy of Popehat. Go read the whole thing.

Inside, Sonny, Clemenza, and Tessio were waiting. Sonny came to Zach, and took the young student-columnist's head into his hands, saying kiddingly, "Beautiful, beautiful, that police captain sure knocked you up real good."

It was Tom who spoke first, over the stunned objections of Clemenza and Tessio: "Sonny, 'knocked up' is an outdated phrase used by anti-woman bigots and mansplainers to describe pregnancy. It implies, to right-thinking people, an element of physical violence, and if I may say so, using that term is a monstrous form of Hate Speech. It denigrates women, and it denigrates choice, the choice that each woman has to decide for herself whether to terminate an unwanted fetus."

“We are all honorable men here, we do not have to give each other assurances as if we were lawyers.”

Speaking to General Jackson

Had a great time in Nashville over the weekend. At some point, I'll get around to doing a post on all the good food I had. Until then, I can sum it up as follows: Hot Chicken is awesome.

Also, President Andrew Jackson's home (the Hermitage) is located in Nashville. It reminds me of one of my favorite jokes/stories about Andrew Jackson:

A young boy, hearing that Andrew Jackson was coming to town, told his friends that he was going to see the General, and, moreover, was going to talk to him. Off he went, even though the jeers of his friends were ringing in his ears.

When they saw each other the next day, the friends taunted him, "Well, did you talk to General Jackson?"

"I sure did," the boy replied. "In fact, he spoke to me."

"What did he say?" the kids asked.

Proudly, the boy puffed out his chest. "He told me to get the hell out of the way!"

Happy Tuesday.

Top Five Venn Diagrams

If you hadn't noticed the Google Doodle today, it's John Venn's 180th birthday. To celebrate, I'm giving you my top five favorite Venn diagrams.

1. Parenting.

2. Social behaviors.

3. Literary.

4. Cooking.

5. Religious.

Open Thread for Thursday, June 19, 2014

It's been a busy day.

So no, I don't have time to tell you a story right now.

Funniest Response to Craigslist Ad Ever

Looking for a "disguised weapon" on Craigslist? This guy has you covered.

True Detective Meets Family Circus...and Dazed and Confused

How did I miss this? I appreciate Doug Ross for bringing this to my attention.

In other True Dectective funny stuff, I came across this as well.

And scene.

Name That Gun!

Here's a rifle that I've been thinking about adding to my collection. My next piece is going to be a historical rifle, and this rifle is one of the finalists.

Can anyone name it? Here's your hint: In the Civil War, it was referred to by the Rebels as "that damned Yankee rifle that they load on Sunday and shoot all week". Give up? The answer is below the jump.

Best Ad for a Sewing Machine Ever

It's a Singer 4525 Deluxe sewing machine. What makes it deluxe? Hell if I know.

Putin Knows How to Get People to the Polls

Every election here in the US, whether it's local, state, or national, I always hear the same thing. It's going to come down to voter turnout. So the politicians hire strategists like Karl Rove and David Axelrod to try and come up with a plan that gets their voters mobilized, energized, and out to actually vote.

Vladimir Putin has surpassed everyone here in the US in that regard.

With about half of the precincts reporting, 95.5% of the people of Crimea have voted to be join Russia. We here at the Permanent Press Decision Desk™ can now officially call this election for Russia.

Our sources on the ground in Crimea say that Putin really mobilized his base of ethnic Russians. Alsothe all important block of swing voters comprised of soccer moms and people who didn't want to be shot broke for Russia at the last moment.

Vladimir Putin's Campaign Staff

 In his post-election victory speech, Putin praised his uniformed staff for their efforts leading up to this crucial election.

"I thought about sending my staff door-to-door before the election to let people know our message, but I figured that I would just let all the voters know that we would be going door-to-door after the election if it didn't go our way. We saved a lot of time and energy with this strategy".

In an exit poll survey, 99% of the people who ended up voting for annexation to Russia cited "Not wanting to face the business end of an AK-47" as their main motivating factor.

In a related note, several voters praised the efficiency of the voting system, as compared to the Richland County Elections Board in Columbia, South Carolina. One voter in Crimiea said "Hey, at least we didn't have to stand in line for three hours to vote like those poor people in Richland County. Our ballots were actually pre-marked for us. We only  wait in long lines when we want to buy bread."

It's Because I'm Black, Isn't It?

I came across this the other day in my internet meanderings, and I thought it was pretty funny:

Try not to judge a rifle by it's color.

In related news, the CWP modification law has been on the books for a little while. Has there been any "wild west" shootouts around South Carolina at bars or restaurants? Maybe I've missed the news about that.

I seem to remember all of those folks saying that it would be "open season" for shooting people, and that there would be shootouts in pizza parlors.

I guess not so much, huh?

I'm prepared to accept your apologies now.

 

Ukraine Is Game To You?

Just easing into this week with a light-hearted Monday post.

Don't take yourself too seriously.

Sunday Morning Thread - Test Taking Tips

No, the Obamacare website isn't fixed yet, but I did make you some tasty french toast. Don't worry, french toast makes everything better.

On an unrelated note, here are some funny answers to test questions from what appear to be elementary school and middle school students. A few of my favorites are:

1. Name the quadrilateral.

2. How do you change centimeters to meters.

Duh.

Study hard, kids.

Someone Trolled Secretary Sebelius

Pretty funny.

But wow, if looks could kill. I wouldn't want to be the guy who handed her that book come tax season. Can you say "Audit"?

Every Lawyer Ever

Passed along to me from another lawyer.

Pretty funny.

Politics Palate Cleanser: Game of Thrones

Ok, new rule here. Every time I do a political post (like the one directly below this one) I'm going to post a palate cleanser-type post because, let's face it....all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Today's palate cleanser will only be really appreciated by those of you who have watched Game of Thrones at least a little. Accordingly, if you don't even know what Game of Thrones is, then please exit the blog here.

Still with me? Good. You're going to like this.

You have now been cleansed of politics. Go and sin no more, my child.