Tuesday, December 10, 2013

TSA Agent Confiscates Sock Monkey's Gun

As part of our government's ongoing efforts to keep us safe as we fly commercial airlines, the TSA has done us all the favor of disarming rogue sock monkeys of their tiny toy pistols.

Rooster Monkburn: Thwarted by valiant TSA agent
Yes, this desperado, who goes by the outlaw name "Rooster Monkburn" tried to make it through the TSA security checkpoint in St. Louis, but a sharp-eyed TSA agent acted quickly to make sure that the threat was neutralized.
“She said ‘this is a gun,’” said May. “I said no, it’s not a gun it’s a prop for my monkey.”

“She said ‘If I held it up to your neck, you wouldn’t know if it was real or not,’ and I said ‘really?’” said May.

The TSA agent told May she would have to confiscate the tiny gun and was supposed to call the police.
Luckily the ruse didn't work. The TSA agent didn't fall for the ol' Sock Monkey With a Toy Gun ploy. As we all know, that's the oldest trick in the book.

I know, being a TSA agent isn't always safe. There are late nights and dangerous terrorist agents who are ready to pounce upon an unsuspecting public. Only the watchful eye of the highly trained TSA agents stands between the unsuspecting public and evil sock monkeys bent on world domination.

Yes, for the true TSA agent, the reward is knowing that you've made the world a safer place. As true evil never rests, the TSA agent must likewise be on constant guard against Little Army Men with their plastic guns, crayon drawings of cowboys and Indians shooting it out, toy aliens with their highly dangerous toy laser blasters, and all other manner of evil toys.

Luckily, a TSA agent was astride the ramparts of liberty, protecting you. Next time you see a TSA agent, thank them for having the courage to stare down such dangerous toys every day.


  1. Yet another proud day to be a St. Louisan...

    The comment repeated on the news here was "out of an abundance of caution on the part of the TSA agent".


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