Item #91-193594 - COOKIE PRESS ($34.95)
Copy: “Our cookie press is a baker’s dream come true. Just fill the barrel with dough and pull the lever.”Drew says: COOKIE GUN. Fuck yeah! Load me up and I will take out an entire cookie swap with that fucker. PEW PEW PEW 50 snickerdoodles right in Priscilla Purrington’s grill. YOU CAN TAKE MY COOKIE GUN FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS. That’ll teach her not to have a grosgrain table runner.By the way, it’s obviously insane to shell out $35 for a cookie bazooka when you can achieve a reasonably similar result using a stupid cookie cutter. The cookie gun will go right into your dustbin along with the infamous waffle batter dispenser and cracker spinner. The truth is that to have a functional kitchen, you only need a few items. A cookie cannon is not one of them.