Gear for Guys: Bow Tie Edition

Christmas is this week! Many of you, like me, are still working hard this week. However, despite working hard, you can still have some Christmas Cheer.

Here's the tie I am wearing today, courtesy of Bird Dog Bay. The material is the perfect thickness for a tie. It ties easily, yet isn't too floppy, so it maintains a nice crisp bow.

Mine is a shotgun shell print. Their line of ties would make a great gift for any well-dressed man in your life. Bird Dog Bay has the Permanent Press™ seal of approval.

Does Your Toddler Hate Itchy Clothing and Recoil from Loud Noises?

Why is everything a "disorder" these days?

For most toddlers, tantrums and clumsiness are just a part of life, something they grow out of. Yet a burgeoning number of parents, like Pamela Trigg, are reporting that their children exhibit baffling, intense behaviors. Some overreact, recoiling from loud noises or refusing to wear itchy clothes. Others underreact, showing little reaction to pain or crashing their bodies into walls.

Wait, what? First of all, no one that I know of (adult or child) likes to wear "itchy clothes". So let's just make sure we're not confused here. There's no such thing as "itchy clothes disorder". That's called wanting to be comfortable. And "recoiling from loud noises" is a symptom as well? Are you serious? If you find that baffling, like this "burgeoning number of parents" do, you may need to consult a therapist - for yourself.

Apparently, I've been suffering from "itchy clothing disorder" AND "loud noise aversion disorder" all my life.

Sure, sometimes kids just overreact to stuff, and sometimes they're pushing limits. However, under this theory of "sensory processing disorder" there is a whole new world of stuff opening up.

Parents can invest in “sensory-friendly” products and attire, from weighted vests to chewable jewelry. They can fit their homes with sensory gyms (some parents have launched crowdfundingcampaigns for home therapy equipment). They can send their children to schools that cater to students’ sensory intolerances and allow them to move around, take breaks and wear headphones. Public libraries host sensory storytimes, theaters stage quiet performances with modified lighting, museums conduct out-of-hours tours with cool-down rooms. Even hair salons are beginning to offer “sensory friendly” cuts.

Sensory friendly attire? Is that like the t-shirts that don't have the little tags in the back? Weighted vests? Are you kidding me? I would never put a weighted vest on a toddler. That sounds ridiculous, and it's probably not super-safe.

But quiet rooms actually sound nice. Maybe we could all benefit from some quiet rooms from time to time. I don't mean to discount actual disorders, but I think we're getting a little far afield here...

(via Althouse)

Short Suits: DO NOT Do This - Be A Man And Wear Some Damn Pants

The suit

Fellas: bring it in, and take a knee.

Do not. I repeat, do not do this. No one wants to see you do this. There is no reason to ever wear a "short suit".

Apparently, Business Insider says these are "going mainstream". It seems that J. Crew, Asos, and Barneys are pushing this horrible idea. According to J. Crew's description you're "almost guaranteed to win the battle for best-dressed at nearly every summer occasion."

Look, the only thing you're "almost guaranteed" is that you're almost guaranteed that you'll never procreate with a woman if you wear this.

Don't give me: But Bryan, it's hot outside...Suck it up. You're a man. Wear pants like a man. If you have to wear a suit in the summer someplace hot like Columbia, wear it like a man. Wear some linen, wear some seersucker, wear any lightweight fabric you like, but for goodness sake - wear some damn pants.

Felt Naked In Court Today

I had to drive down to Charleston and back for a hearing today, so cut me some slack on not having any content up.

By the way, I spilled coffee on my tie right before the hearing, so I couldn't wear it. It was a catastrophic coffee incident on a light colored tie. Take my word for it - it was unwearable.

Anyway, first thing, the Judge asked why I wasn't wearing a tie. I apologized profusely and told the story of what happened. I also made a joke about my considering making an emergency tie purchase at Ben Silver. The Judge in a very good nurtured way commented that I probably wasn't making enough money on this particular case to justify an expensive Ben Silver tie - so no harm done.

Still, I felt very naked in Court without a necktie. I may start carrying an emergency tie in my briefcase.

As for today, I've sneaked a blog post in under the wire before 5:00PM. Luckily, I don't need a tie for blogging.

Enjoy your weekend. And don't get anything on your tie!

Five Tips for Attending the Masters

Other than the time change (which everyone hates) The Masters is one of the heralds of Spring. The pollen has dropped, the flowers and trees are budding, the weather is finally warming up, and golf's best gather in Augusta to test their skills. I've been fortunate enough to be able to attend the tournament, so I thought I would share five tips for those of you who may be attending for the first time.

1. Go on Thursday or Friday: If it's your first time, (and you have a choice) try to go on Thursday or Friday. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking Sunday is the best day to go. Well you'd be wrong. First of all, if you go on Thursday or Friday, you get to see the whole field before they cut people. This will allow you to see a lot of the older players and former champions who won't be around for the weekend. Also, I know this sounds dumb, but you can see the end on Sunday better on television. Finally, if you want to buy all sorts of Masters stuff, going on the first two days is better because the shops are sold out of the good stuff by Saturday.

2. Dress for a Sporting Event: You're not going to a cocktail party, ladies. So leave those high heel shoes at home. You're going to be doing a lot of walking, and the course is much hillier than it looks on television. Also, the grass is really low, and in the morning it's slippery. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a young lady in a white dress fall down and get muddy because she wore some slippery shoes. You don't want to be that girl.

Your ideal shoe should be a golf shoe, because it will have spikes. Failing that, wear something that you are comfortable walking around in all day. Again, it's a sporting event, not a cocktail party. Guys, same goes for you. You're going to look silly wearing a tie. Bring sunscreen and a hat.

3. Leave Your Electronics in the Car: This is probably the most important rule because it's something that can get you in trouble.Yes, it will be hard for you to part with your iPhone for an entire day, but you can do it.  The folks at the gate are going to check your bag, but even if you somehow got your phone in, you're going to get in big trouble if it rings, or pings, or does anything that attracts attention. What kind of trouble?

Well, those spiffy badges that you have will be taken away (and since this is your first time, they're probably not yours, are they?). You will be escorted off the grounds, and those badges could possibly be permanently cancelled for the owner, which is going to land you in hot water with whomever gave you the badges to begin with. You want to try explaining that one? Just don't do it. Enjoy the day in the beautiful surroundings without looking at a little screen.

4. See the whole place: Get there as early as you can. Do your shopping (if that's your thing) first, and then use the bag check so you don't have to carry everything around all day. Did you wear the right shoes? Good. You can then walk the entire course to get a feel for the place. About that time, the first groups should be going off the front. You can choose to follow a group or sit on a particular hole. It just depends on how ambitious you feel, but if it's your first time, don't just hunker down on Amen Corner because you've seen it on television. There's much more to the course.

5. Put your chair down early, and observe seating etiquette: You can bring in collapsible chairs that don't have arm rests. Definitely do this. When you get there in the morning, go put your chair down somewhere and leave it there. Yes, it will be safe. No one is going to mess with it. Also, don't mess with other people's chairs. In the morning, you'll see tons of empty chairs placed around greens and tee-boxes. It's how you save your seat. Just put your chair down in line with all the others. Snag a pairing sheet when you come in, and when you're sitting there, you can plan for the groups.

Personally, I like to sit on the 15th hole, near the top of the hill (or in the stands near the green), because it's a place where you see players make the decision to either go for it in two or lay up. If you sit in the stands by the 15th green, you can also see the action on the 16th hole just over your shoulder, so you kind of get bonus viewing.

As for etiquette, obviously be quiet when the players are within earshot. That will be easy because everyone else will be quiet. It's actually cool how a couple hundred people will all be huddled down somewhere, and it will be so quiet, you'll be able to hear the birds. No running to put your chair down. What are you five years old? Clapping for good play is acceptable, but booing players you don't like, or cheering for their mistakes is bad form.

Other that that, try a pimento cheese sandwich and enjoy the cheap beer.

Rep. Sanford on House Floor in T-Shirt and Shorts

Hey, at least he wasn't taking pictures of his junk and sending it around to random strangers.

The Best Sweater in the World

Greg Maddux is cooler than you are. And he has the best sweater in the world.

None of the clothes that you have are as awesome as this sweater.

British Men Want Miniskirts Banned

Back in the day, Great Britain used to be the world's greatest superpower. The men who lived there were tough, went off to fight for Queen and Country, the Glory of the Empire, and they were tough. This is the country of Winston Churchill, Capt. Cook, Admiral Neslon, Richard the Lionhearted, T.E. Lawrence, and so on...

Great Britain used to be the home to manly men.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. We're witnessing the collapse of Western civilization.

WWII Bomber Jacket Art

Ever see a guy with a really cool leather bomber jacket? Here's the history on how they became iconic. The best part is that they used to be even more badass than they are now.

“The commanders, for the most part, understood this,” Conway continues, “So there was a little bit more leniency in that regard than there would have been with ground guys. The officers figured, ‘Well, if this guy wants to paint a naked lady on the back of the jacket, what good is it to try to stop him? He could be dead tomorrow morning.’ The main objective was winning the war, not enforcing minor regulations and rules.”

The B-17 known as “Lady Lorrie,” from the 306th Bomb Group, flew 35 missions, according to this jacket. The original owner is unknown. Via Manion’s International Auction House.

Pretty awesome. I can definitely see how the guys who wore them all the time during the war wouldn't wear them again afterwards. Probably too many bad memories and/or they'd be criticized by people who didn't understand the context.

Shotgun Shell Cufflinks

They make a statement.

Some Cool Gun-Related Shirts

They're fairly simple and to the point. If you've seen my Twitter Photo, you can probably guess that my favorite one is:

 [H/T Uncle]