Tomasky Encourages Democrats to Abandon the South

I guess he's a little bitter about the fact that Southern states have rejected the Democratic party so resoundingly in the recent elections, so he's going with the old: You can't fire me; I quit! routine.

And that is what Louisiana, and almost the entire South, has become. The victims of the particular form of euthanasia it enforces with such glee are tolerance, compassion, civic decency, trans-racial community, the crucial secular values on which this country was founded… I could keep this list going. But I think you get the idea. Practically the whole region has rejected nearly everything that’s good about this country and has become just one big nuclear waste site of choleric, and extremely racialized, resentment.

Well that's just genuis, Tomasky. Just take about one-quarter of the entire country and insult it. That's really the best way to win friends and influence people. Remember. liberals love tolerance and diversity, unless your diversity happens to be diversity of thought - they won't tolerate that.

At the congressional level, and from there on down, the Democrats should just forget about the place. They should make no effort, except under extraordinary circumstances, to field competitive candidates. The national committees shouldn’t spend a red cent down there. This means every Senate seat will be Republican, and 80 percent of the House seats will be, too. The Democrats will retain their hold on the majority-black districts, and they’ll occasionally be competitive in a small number of other districts in cities and college towns. But they’re not going win Southern seats (I include here with some sadness my native West Virginia, which was not a Southern state when I was growing up but culturally is one now). And they shouldn’t try.

Oh, we can't fire you because you quit? Well that's really mature of y'all.

Instead of encouraging the Democratic party to look in the mirror and re-evaluate some of its positions, Tomasky has decided that the only lesson to learn from the recent electoral defeat is that us Southerners just aren't worth the time and effort. I guess we're just too darn backwards for the Democrats to spend any more time down here. Talk about sour grapes.

Whatever makes you feel better, I guess.

Our National Strife

I have just made it through Vol. I of Shelby Foote's Civil War - A Narrative, and it's absolutely captivating. Foote is a remarkable storyteller. I've always enjoyed history because, to me, good history just reads like a story, and most of the time the truth is more dramatic than fiction. Towards the end of the first volume (which is just about the winter of 1862), a passage struck me. 

Foote recounts a speech that Lincoln delivers to Congress in 1862, just as it had become clear to him (and others) that the Civil War was not going to be easily or quickly won.

Our national strife springs not from our permanent part, not from the land we inhabit, not from our national homestead. Our strife pertains to ourselves, to the passing generations of men, and it can without convulsion, be hushed forever with the passing of one generation.

                                                                                -Lincoln's Second Annual Address

To me, the idea that our national problems can be solved with a new generation  has an optimistic sound. Essentially, we may have troubles now, but the future generations of Americans can solve them simply by coming into existence. I guess it's a faith in the moral arc of the universe. The flip side to that coin is that it only takes one generation to lose what we presently have.

I guess the both are true. Anyway, it seemed particularly relevant to all of the national strife that we seem to have today.

Tom Brokaw's "Opening Day" Was Pretty Good

Last night, around 4:30AM (during a late night feeding), I watched Tom Brokaw's Opening Day, which I had recorded for just such an occasion. It was pretty good. I certainly wanted to book a trip to South Dakota when it was done.

Brokaw is originally from South Dakota, and according to this documentary, he goes back there to hunt fairly regularly. If you didn't know, there is some phenomenal pheasant hunting in South Dakota. It's the northern equivalent to the southern Georgia quail plantations.

Here's my favorite line from the piece I linked:

Brokaw said the New York area in some ways is more understanding of sporting gun culture than it used to be.

"New York is ringed by shooting clubs," he said. "Within two hours there are one, two, three, four, five that I know of . . . When hedge-fund guys started making big money they all discovered shotguns. So they started buying shotguns and going on these big hunting expeditions."

Ha. How funny is that? You don't have to make big "hedge-fund" money to buy a shotgun and go bird hunting. We've been doing that in the South for a long time. An 870 Wingmaster and a good dog is all you need.

An Autumn Weekend in Williamsburg, VA

William & Mary in 1902 (it hasn't changed much since then)

I'm spending the weekend in Williamsburg, VA. Autumn is absolutely wonderful in Virginia. Enjoy the weekend, y'all.

Gator Hunting Postgame Analysis and Photo

As I previously mentioned, I went on an alligator hunt this past Friday night. Here's the money-shot:

Five foot alligator just after being harvested near Walterboro, SC

Gator-hunting is a pretty active kind of hunt. You're not just sitting there waiting for a gator to come along. Your actually out hunting for them, as in actively prowling through the marsh looking for them. It's not like deer hunting where you just sit and wait for a deer to walk out in front of you.

Basically, you have to find the gator, hook the gator, let him fight a little so he's tired out, then get him in close to the boat so you can dispatch him with a shot to the head in a coup de grace.

Oh, and gators are kinda tough. This one, after being shot in the head and having his spinal column severed with a knife, still was wiggling his tail and moving his feet thirty minutes later. Point being, gators are really tough animals. It's no surprise that they've been around since the dinosaur times without evolving very much.

If you're a hunter, and you ever get the rare chance to go gator hunting, don't pass it up. I'll be looking for some good gator recipes now.

The Northeast US has lost 40% of its members from the US House of Representatives since 1950

In 1950, the Northeast (from Pennsylvania to Maine) had 141 seats in the House of Representatives. Now, the same region of the country only has 85 seats.

That's quite a loss of power. When you think of how politically powerful the Northeast has been over the history of our country, it's quite astounding to see the shift. You can blame tax rates, weather, culture, or other factors, but whatever the reason, it's clear that fewer people than ever before are living in the Northeast, relative to the rest of the country.

As a South Carolinian, I say that's fine with me.

I like to tell people who move to South Carolina from other places: It's ok if you weren't born a Southerner, as long as you got here as fast as you could.

Traveling Friday: Heading to Nashville

I'm hitting the road for Nashville, TN today to sample their fine food, consume their local brews, and hopefully watch the Gamecocks sink the Commodores on Saturday night.

Updates and general observations from this weekend's road trip will be via my twitter account, so if you're not already following me, you can do so now. Better late than never, right?

Pat Conroy's Letters Purchased by USC

Happy Saturday. Time for coffee.

In southern author news, Pat Conroy's letters, manuscripts, and journals are now art of USC's collection.

“I’m just terrified that there is something in there from my misspent youth that is going to come up,” he said. “I don’t know what’s in there. I collected everything.”

I hope something interesting is in there. Following the rules is boring.

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/2014/05/16/3451537/uscs-new-pat-conroy-collection.html?sp=/99/205/&ihp=1#storylink=cpy

Felt Naked In Court Today

I had to drive down to Charleston and back for a hearing today, so cut me some slack on not having any content up.

By the way, I spilled coffee on my tie right before the hearing, so I couldn't wear it. It was a catastrophic coffee incident on a light colored tie. Take my word for it - it was unwearable.

Anyway, first thing, the Judge asked why I wasn't wearing a tie. I apologized profusely and told the story of what happened. I also made a joke about my considering making an emergency tie purchase at Ben Silver. The Judge in a very good nurtured way commented that I probably wasn't making enough money on this particular case to justify an expensive Ben Silver tie - so no harm done.

Still, I felt very naked in Court without a necktie. I may start carrying an emergency tie in my briefcase.

As for today, I've sneaked a blog post in under the wire before 5:00PM. Luckily, I don't need a tie for blogging.

Enjoy your weekend. And don't get anything on your tie!

Five Tips for Attending the Masters

Other than the time change (which everyone hates) The Masters is one of the heralds of Spring. The pollen has dropped, the flowers and trees are budding, the weather is finally warming up, and golf's best gather in Augusta to test their skills. I've been fortunate enough to be able to attend the tournament, so I thought I would share five tips for those of you who may be attending for the first time.

1. Go on Thursday or Friday: If it's your first time, (and you have a choice) try to go on Thursday or Friday. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking Sunday is the best day to go. Well you'd be wrong. First of all, if you go on Thursday or Friday, you get to see the whole field before they cut people. This will allow you to see a lot of the older players and former champions who won't be around for the weekend. Also, I know this sounds dumb, but you can see the end on Sunday better on television. Finally, if you want to buy all sorts of Masters stuff, going on the first two days is better because the shops are sold out of the good stuff by Saturday.

2. Dress for a Sporting Event: You're not going to a cocktail party, ladies. So leave those high heel shoes at home. You're going to be doing a lot of walking, and the course is much hillier than it looks on television. Also, the grass is really low, and in the morning it's slippery. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a young lady in a white dress fall down and get muddy because she wore some slippery shoes. You don't want to be that girl.

Your ideal shoe should be a golf shoe, because it will have spikes. Failing that, wear something that you are comfortable walking around in all day. Again, it's a sporting event, not a cocktail party. Guys, same goes for you. You're going to look silly wearing a tie. Bring sunscreen and a hat.

3. Leave Your Electronics in the Car: This is probably the most important rule because it's something that can get you in trouble.Yes, it will be hard for you to part with your iPhone for an entire day, but you can do it.  The folks at the gate are going to check your bag, but even if you somehow got your phone in, you're going to get in big trouble if it rings, or pings, or does anything that attracts attention. What kind of trouble?

Well, those spiffy badges that you have will be taken away (and since this is your first time, they're probably not yours, are they?). You will be escorted off the grounds, and those badges could possibly be permanently cancelled for the owner, which is going to land you in hot water with whomever gave you the badges to begin with. You want to try explaining that one? Just don't do it. Enjoy the day in the beautiful surroundings without looking at a little screen.

4. See the whole place: Get there as early as you can. Do your shopping (if that's your thing) first, and then use the bag check so you don't have to carry everything around all day. Did you wear the right shoes? Good. You can then walk the entire course to get a feel for the place. About that time, the first groups should be going off the front. You can choose to follow a group or sit on a particular hole. It just depends on how ambitious you feel, but if it's your first time, don't just hunker down on Amen Corner because you've seen it on television. There's much more to the course.

5. Put your chair down early, and observe seating etiquette: You can bring in collapsible chairs that don't have arm rests. Definitely do this. When you get there in the morning, go put your chair down somewhere and leave it there. Yes, it will be safe. No one is going to mess with it. Also, don't mess with other people's chairs. In the morning, you'll see tons of empty chairs placed around greens and tee-boxes. It's how you save your seat. Just put your chair down in line with all the others. Snag a pairing sheet when you come in, and when you're sitting there, you can plan for the groups.

Personally, I like to sit on the 15th hole, near the top of the hill (or in the stands near the green), because it's a place where you see players make the decision to either go for it in two or lay up. If you sit in the stands by the 15th green, you can also see the action on the 16th hole just over your shoulder, so you kind of get bonus viewing.

As for etiquette, obviously be quiet when the players are within earshot. That will be easy because everyone else will be quiet. It's actually cool how a couple hundred people will all be huddled down somewhere, and it will be so quiet, you'll be able to hear the birds. No running to put your chair down. What are you five years old? Clapping for good play is acceptable, but booing players you don't like, or cheering for their mistakes is bad form.

Other that that, try a pimento cheese sandwich and enjoy the cheap beer.

The Hog Splitter - Ultimate BBQ Weapon

In addition to blogging here, I also blog for Fig Columbia from time to time. If you didn't already know, Fig is a magazine that is geared towards local events and happenings in Columbia. If you're interested in the latest and greatest in Columbia, you might want to give Fig a look.

Anyway, since I'm one of their bloggers, they were kind enough to invite me to their party celebrating the release of their Spring Magazine. I had a chance to meet Reed Moore, who is the cover story of the Spring Magazine.

Reed is the owner/operator of Red Forgeworks, which is a blacksmith shop in Timmonsville, SC. Reed makes wonderful knives in an old-world style way - by hand. The knives are so impressive, Reed has started to earn some serious accolades. Just recently, he won the Garden & Gun - Made in the South "Outdoors Category" for his knives.

I was browsing his website, and although I haven't actually held one of his knives in my hand, I thought I would toss out a recommendation. One of the coolest things on his website is the "Hog Splitter".

I love the description: "This knife is basically a cross between a cleaver and a sledge hammer." I mean, who doesn't sometimes need both a cleaver and a sledgehammer? Seems like something that a movie villain would have in one of those classic slasher movies.

The Hog Splitter. Get it for the guy who does whole-hog BBQ...or someone who's looking to get into the slasher-villain industry.

Winter is Coming (Tomorrow, Apparently)

Apparently, people are saying that a snowflake or two will come down in Columbia tomorrow, so everything for tomorrow is being cancelled because I guess everyone thinks it's going to be like this:

This is annoying. It's winter, people. It will be cold. It might snow a little. That's normal. The white walkers aren't coming to overrun the city. It's just a little snow.

Let's not cancel Court hearings, school, and regular events like work for a few snowflakes. Just drive safely and try to use a little common sense.

(But maybe keep the dragon-glass sword handy, just in case.)

Gear for Guys: Christmas Gifts for the Southern Man

For the most part, we guys are easy to shop for. We tend to have hobbies of one sort or another that make for easy gift giving. However, if you have a guy on your Christmas List and are struggling to come up with something, Permanent Press is here to help. All of these gifts are Permanent Press Lifestyle™ approved.

For the Sportsman/Hunter: If you're looking for a gift for a shooter/hunter, you're in luck. There are endless accessories for the Southern Sportsman. Even if this guy already has a pocket-knife or a flashlight, he could always use another. For pocket-knives, I recommend Benchmade. For flashlights, I recommend Mag-Lights.

Also, this guy is always going to need ammunition. You literally can never have enough. So if you're looking for a cheap stocking stuffer, a box or two of ammo will be a big hit. If you don't know what kind to get, look and see what he already has in his gun safe. You can buy it online, and it will ship right to your door. My favorite online ammo retailer is Lucky Gunner, but there are plenty out there.

For the Well-Dressed Gentleman: If the Southern guy in your life dresses up during the workweek, there are accessories he might need. For instance, every guy needs a good shoe-shine kit, but it's not something that we would normally buy for ourselves. Allen Edmonds has a nice kit, but there are plenty of others out there. Don't buy this guy another tie or more cufflinks.

For the College Sports Fan: If the Southern man on your list is a college sports fan (and he likely is) then you can get him something to show his team spirit in the fall. If he's an SEC sports fan, there's always this awesome koozie. But even if he isn't an SEC fan, this link should still probably have you covered.

For the Guy Who Likes a Drink: If the Southern man on your Christmas list is over 21 and enjoys a nice cocktail, bourbon is always a nice gift. Belle Meade Bourbon is an easy-drinking boubon with a smooth finish. It also has a little bit of a horse-racing history, so it would be an appropriate drink this spring when the horse racing gets into full swing.

There you have it. If you have any other ideas, I'd be interested to hear them. Hope this little holiday guide helps!

Last College Football Saturday

The college football season always goes by too fast. It seems like just a few weeks ago we were looking at this season with all sorts of anticipation. Gamecock fans were looking at this season with expectations that the SEC East was ours for the taking.

Heck, Clemson fans were thinking that this year could be the one where they take the next step and make it to the national title game. No one was giving Auburn or Missouri a chance, and no one knew how bad Florida would be.

All that's gone now.

The Grove at Ole Miss will see you again next year

There won't be anymore tailgates with all your friends in the shadow of your team's stadium. The tailgates (which you put more planning into than D-Day) are going to be dormant until next fall. Even if you're going to a Bowl Game to support your team, it won't be the same.

Sure, yeah, there are the bowl games. Too many of them in fact. But the last few months of waking up early on a Saturday like a five year old kid on Christmas morning and watching college football all day are over. No more changing between channels and avoiding yard-work all day while you drink beer all day and bask in the glory of college football from noon until midnight. That's all gone.

We bid farewell to the likes of JD Clowney, Connor Shaw, Aaron Murray, Tajh Boyd, Sammy Watkins, and a host of other great players who amazed us with their skill on the field.

Here's to the 2013 college football season, with all it's craziness, drama, and maddening twists and turns that make us all love it so much at times, and make us all hate it so much at times. Your wives and girlfriends will be glad to reclaim Saturday again.

Until next year, that is.

I'll Be Blogging for Fig Columbia!

What's Fig Columbia, you ask? Fig Columbia is a local magazine and social media presence that is dedicated highlighting the great aspects of Columbia, South Carolina. It will be a great place for keeping up with social events, new restaurants, and all the goings-on around Columbia. It's kind of like Garden & Gun, but specifically tailored for Columbia.

About a month or so ago, I was asked to be a contributing blogger to Fig Columbia and provide a guy's perspective on certain things. Frankly, I was very flattered just to be asked, since I'm not the most stylish person. The Shop Tart will be running Fig Columbia's style side, so if you're familiar with her work, you already know that Fig will be very stylish and wonderfully done.

My pieces for Fig will be along the lines of my "Gear for Guys" posts that I've done and tied into Columbia. You can read my first piece for Fig Columbia here.

All of the content that I create for Fig Columbia will be over there first, but will ultimately be linked back here. I would encourage any of my Columbia readers to go check out Fig Columbia for all sorts of great stuff.

If you don't live in Columbia, don't worry. I'm still going to keep Permanent Press going with all my random rantings, football breakdowns, BBQ musings, political mockery, firearm photos, and all of the otherwise brilliant posts you've come to know and love here.

Need a Local Adventure near Columbia?

Try the Congaree National Park.

It's the largest intact expanse of old growth, bottomland hardwood forest remaining in the southeastern United States - and it's about a 25 minute drive from downtown Columbia.

First, it's totally free. No fees for anything. The park is open 24/7, every day of the year, but Saturday is the best day to go. Pretty much every Saturday there's a guided tour of some sort. And yeah, the tours are free, too. Some require reservations, others don't.

If you're not into planning or reservations, you can just show up and walk the boardwalk loop, which is a (roughly) two-mile loop comprised of a raised boardwalk through the swamp that starts and ends at the Visitor's Center. It's great for families, as the boardwalk keeps the children focused on going one direction, rather than wandering off.

During famously hot days in Columbia, you can go on a paddling trip from one part of the Congaree river to another through the National Park. Toss a cooler in the canoe and you've got yourself a whole day on the river. If you're in a Boy Scout troop in Columbia, this is a must do.

If you want to see what South Carolina looked like a couple hundred years ago, go check it out. It's like stepping into a time machine. It's free and it's closer than you think.

Sea Island's Hunt Club Returns

Back in 1942, the 50,000 acre Sea Island Shooting Preserve was sold to paper companies. Since the mid 1990s, Sea Island has been working to buy back the land.

It looks like they've finally gotten back to having a mighty fine hunting preserve.

Broadfield is a hunting compound straight from Jones’s fantasies. It includes a five-stand, a rifle and pistol range, and two lakes stocked with bass and bream. There is a walk-in cooler for keeping game and a smokehouse for cooking it. Chef Jordan Poteat, pulled from the main resort, oversees beehives, a chicken coop, and a substantial organic garden—all of which supply the kitchens at Broadfield and Sea Island’s seven restaurants.

In case that's not enough for you, there is also the option to participate in the falconry program.

If you're into sporting clays and/or skeet, Sea Island does it right. They have a beautiful sporting clays course along the intracoastal waterway that is comparable to Kiawah's Ocean Course in the way the wind off the water can change the difficulty of the course. Here's what the skeet field looks like:

Not bad, eh?

That reminds me. I need to get out and start breaking some clays.

Southern Vegetable In Season: Okra

Okra. It's easily my favorite vegetable.

Think of okra as the South’s überveggie. You can eat it stewed, fried, grilled, baked, stuffed, smothered, curried, in succotash or gumbo. Customers at Bourbon House Seafood & Oyster Bar in New Orleans enjoy pickled okra alongside their po’boys. Texans use it to gussy up their dry martinis. Naturally, the drink is called the okratini.

Okra is kind of like shrimp, in that you can do so many different things with it. However, it's obviously best when it's fried.

Friends Don't Let Friends...

Indeed.

Saturday Gear: A Man's Pocketknife

In our modern, high-tech world of iPhones, you don't see too many guys carrying pocketknives anymore. One of my first pocket knives was the ol' Swiss Amy that carried me through many years of Cub and Boy Scouting, surviving trips to Scout camp and Philmont.

College at W&L often saw me without a knife, which was probably for the best from a public safety standpoint, but I did carry a cheap folding gerber knife during most of law school, which was most useful during a my 3L year for opening rejection letters to big law firms that I applied to. (Except for one large law firm that merely sent me a postcard with a rejection message that basically amounted to "LOL").

A few years ago, I upgraded from the folding Gerber to a folding Benchmade.

My current pocketknife

This knife goes most places with me (where I am allowed to carry it) and people are typically astounded when a situation calls for a knife (splicing some rope, peeling an apple, cutting a package open, etc.) and I produce a knife from my pocket as if by magic.

To me, a knife is an old, trusted friend that is always reliable and will be there when I need it. My knife isn't as pristine as the picture above, but (as with old books that you read over and over, or your favorite pants that have paint on them and a few rips) wear and tear is the evidence of love. It's still sharp, though.

Our grandfathers carried pocketknives and handkerchiefs almost everywhere, almost everyday. I know times are different, and your iPhone is now indispensable, but your iPhone can't open an oyster or slice a lime.

If you don't carry a pocketknife, I encourage you to try it.