Get This: John Kerry Brings James Taylor to France as a Message of Unity

Hard on the heels of not showing up for the big unity rally in Paris, John Kerry arrived in Paris to smooth everything over. But how exactly do you soothe the ruffled feathers of the sophisticated French society?

James. Freakin'. Taylor.

.@JohnKerry brings James Taylor to Paris news conference to play "You've Got a Friend" - message to French after U.S no-shows last week
— Andrea Mitchell (@mitchellreports) January 16, 2015

You know how in high school, when your girlfriend got mad at you, you would make her a mix-tape to apologize? Well, John Kerry was assigned to make a mixtape for France, since we kind of stood them up on the last date night, and they're mad at us.

I actually told someone about this at lunch, and they did not believe me. They thought it was so completely idiotic that John Kerry would serenade the French with James Taylor that I had to pull out my phone and show them the news. I'm afraid to report this is true.

I just question his taste in pop-culture music. Yeah, he's an aging baby-boomer, so I guess I could see how James Taylor appeals to him, but there were so many other ways to go. He could have brought the entire cast from Friends with him. He could have done the Randy Newman song "You've Got a Friend in Me", which I like better than the James Taylor selection. Or...just go with me on this because it's a little out there, but maybe get someone that has something to do with France! It's not all about you, America.

Everyone knows that when you make a mix-tape for your upset girlfriend, you don't put your favorite songs on there. You put her favorite songs on there. Jeebus. It's not all about you, it's all about her. Obviously, John Kerry needs to up his game.

And you know..all things being equal, I'm usually ok with needling the French, but that's just becuase the French usually act all superior, and, well, French. But when they've just suffered a horrible terrorist attack, it's not the time to mock them. They're not the enemy.

I mean, why not just go with Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" it you want to make it all about you. At least they'll get some eye-candy.

Also, I have one bone to pick with this piece from The Guardian:

Kerry will deliver some of his speech at the Paris city hall in French and then introduce the veteran American singer, James Taylor, most famous for the song You’ve Got a Friend.

Are you kidding me? "You've Got a Friend" doesn't even make it into the top ten of James Taylor's most famous songs. I mean, he's got some good songs.

Happy Friday from Barry Jive and the Uptown Five

Have a good weekend, y'all.

How To Have An Awesome Backyard Summer Party

SERIOUS BACKYARD STYLE: BBQ, beer, and a jazz band.

"Hey Jude" by Wilson Pickett and Duane Allman

Friday afternoon open thread.

Relax and unwind.

h/t Rock N Roll Breakfast

Happy Birthday Bob Seger

Today is Bob Seger's birthday. He's 69 years old.

Top 5 Bob Seger Songs:

1. Night Moves
2. Turn the Page
3. Still the Same
4. Like a Rock
5. Against the Wind

And this gets Honorable Mention.

Kids React to a Walkman

Here's a reminder of how old I am. They gave young kids a walkman and gauged their reactions:

I was old enough to start getting into exploring my own tastes in music right about the time that cassettes were being replaced by CDs, so I had both. However, the only way to make your own "mix" was to make a "mix-tape" by recording songs off the radio onto a cassette. Mix-tapes were really big. It was the prehistoric ancestor of having your own playlist on an iPod.

Besides arranging the songs, the real trick was to make sure that you timed the start of the recording and the ending of the recording properly. If you started to early, you would get the DJ talking or the previous song - stop too late, and you get the same problem at the end. Also, you had to be really quick on starting the recording when the song you wanted came on the radio. Usually, I would miss the first couple seconds of the song unless I was just hovering over the tapedeck.

One of the first songs that I put onto a good mix-tape was Two Princes from the Spin Doctors. I still like that one.

I need to dig up some of my old mix-tapes. I'm sure I have them around somewhere.

Rock N Roll Breakfast

Want to up your musical IQ? I have the perfect blog for you. One of my best friends (Mike Z.) from law school has jumped on the blog train with his own music-themed blog: Rock N Roll Breakfast.

The beginning of rock and roll.

Even back in law school, it was clear that Mike Z. was the cool "music guy" in our group, so it makes perfect sense that Mike would start a blog focusing on his family's musical journey through different genres of rock and roll.

My life seems to have come with a soundtrack, and I want to share it with my family.  The kids may not like every song we play (I’m not foolish enough to think that I will always be cool…or ever was), but hopefully, they’ll hear these songs someday and laugh and make fun of their Mom and Dad or find a way to smile on a hard day or find just the right song to celebrate a great moment.  These organized noises and words are more than just songs, they are part of the fabric of our family.  I want our kids to create their own soundtracks – with a few dedications to Mom and Dad and a shout out to us in the liner notes.

He's starting with 1950's rock for his first post. If you're a music lover, or just want to up your musical knowledge, this should be a great blog for you. He also links the songs on Spotify so it's easy to follow along. I highly recommend it.

Cheers!

The Five Worst Christmas Songs Ever

Happy Monday.

Brad's got the list of worst Christmas songs over at his place, and my only quibble with it is that I like Frank Sinatra's version of Little Dummer Boy. Otherwise, I concur.

On a related note, one of my pet peeves with Christmas music is people who play it before Thanksgiving. There should be a law allowing people to make a citizen's arrest when that occurs.

Anyone got any other Christmas songs they could do without?

Truckers to Descend on DC Beltway

If you thought the current beltway traffic was bad, think again. A group of truck drivers are going to be engaging in a sort of "rolling roadblock" of the DC Beltway.

Earl Conlon, a Georgia trucker who is handling logistics for the protest, told U.S. News tractor-trailer drivers will circle the beltway "three lanes deep" as he rides with other participants to Congress to seek the arrest of congressmen for allegedly disregarding the Constitution. The truckers circling I-495 will keep the left lane open for emergency vehicles, Conlon said, but "everybody that doesn't have a supporter sticker on their window, good luck: Nobody in, nobody out." The trucks will be going the 55 mile-per-hour speed limit.

The name "Truckers to Shutdown America" isn't exactly the best branding idea. I'm on the fence about this, but I'm certainly not in favor of "shutting down America". Maybe DC, but not America. Eh, truckers aren't known for their subtleties.

I have no idea why they're upset, but, messing with ordinary people who are just on their way to work isn't the best way to win friends and influence people.

I'm not sure that you can arrest someone for doing 55 MPH, but I'm guessing there's some kind of law about intentionally obstructing traffic. Maybe that's why they're keeping the far left lane open. If they go forward with this, I  guess I better brush up on my CB lingo.

I wonder if they'll have a "bear in the air".

Friday Open Thread

I'm starting my weekend early, so here's the Friday Open Thread with a news roundup that you've all been waiting for. Feel free to talk about whatever suits you.

1. US will allow Syria to miss the first deadline. I'm shocked, I tell you...shocked.
2. ObamaCare exchanges in 36 stats cannot calculate how much people will pay. We're in the best of hands.
3. Mediation continues in the "Baby Veronica" case. Hopefully, people will make reasonable decisions.
4. Navy Yard Shooter used an illegal gun. He sawed off the end of the shotgun with a hacksaw. Anyone wondering if he paid the requisite fee and fill out the proper paperwork? We obviously need to ban hacksaws.

If you don't like my open thread, go check out Brad's. He may have something different. If you don't like that either, turn off your computer and go to the Greek Festival. It's the weekend. Enjoy it.

SC Woman (Allegedly) Stabs Roommate Because She Played Too Much Eagles Music

It was probably Witchy Woman, I bet you.

In her defense, how much music from The Eagles can you possibly take? My limit is about two songs. After that, I can't be held responsible for what I might do.

Asiana Pilot Was "Blinded by the Light"

Or so he claims.

No word yet if go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside.

Friday Open Thread

Content? Ain't nobody got time fo' that! In lieu of actual blogging content this Friday, I'll give you some music. The money I get paid to blog has been docked accordingly.

On a more somber note, it's Memorial Day Weekend. Feel free to BBQ the heck out of some meat, drink beer, and have fun. But just remember why we have this weekend.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! [Musical Interlude]

Whether you're going to Five Points, running in the race, or just enjoying your Saturday, have a happy St. Patrick's Day. Here's some music.

Bloomberg Focuses on Ear Buds

First they came for the salt, and I said nothing. Next they came for the big gulp, and I said nothing, and then they came for the ear buds on my iPod, and I said nothing. (I don't live in New York, so it's not really my place to say.)

Seriously, he's concerned that New Yorkers are listening to loud music via little ear buds.

It's like the mayor of New York City has never walked the streets of New York City. It seems like over half of the people wear ear buds as they go from place to place. I'm going to be extremely amused if NYC becomes the first city to outlaw ear buds.

If you outlaw ear buds, only outlaws will have ear buds!

You can have my ear buds when you pry them from my cold, dead ears!

Meat, Murder, and Morrissey

I kind of vaguely remember Morrissey from back in the day, but I'm not really sure I can think of any of his songs. In any event, this guy Morrissey is upset that he has to share the world with people who have different views from his.

Life is tough when you're an aging rock star that no one really remembers, and you don't eat meat. So, after bering invited on the Jimmy Kimmel, Morrissey decides that he can't agree to go on the show until his demands are met. These demands? Oh nothing, just disinvite some of the other scheduled guests.

The former Smiths frontman and outspoken vegetarian/animal-rights activist has announced that he won't be appearing on Jimmy Kimmel LIve on Tuesday because he doesn't want to share the stage with the animal-stalking crew of the reality TV series "Duck Dynasty."

In explaining his decision, Morrissey, never one to withhold an opinion, referred to the show's stars as "animal serial killers."

"As far as my reputation is concerned, I can't take the risk of being on a show alongside people who, in effect, amount to animal serial killers," the singer said in a statement posted online. "If Jimmy cannot dump 'Duck Dynasty,' then we must step away."

Wait, what? The guys from Duck Dynasty are so evil that a rock star can't be on stage in the same show with them? These guys make duck calls and go duck hunting. That's it. They're not part of Hitler's lost SS Battalion, they aren't in a Satanic cult, and they aren't lawyers.

They're just country folks who hunt. Really. That's it. And they're "animal serial killers". Well, I guess I'm in the "serial killer" club as well. I guess everyone who's in Ducks Unlimited, hunts deer, or even fishes, is now part of the ol' serial killer club. Do we get any perks? Are there any badges or anything?

These militant vegans are seriously crazy. The funny part is that they are the most intolerant people you'll meet. I used to know one. In college, a militant vegan was housemates with a friend of mine. This militant vegan was extreme, which is her choice. The odd part was that her cats (yes she had animal companions) were forced to partake in her vegan lifestyle. Whenever I would visit, I would ultimately end up getting in debates about eating meat and such. I'm sure you'll be shocked to know that we never really ended up convincing the other person. Basically, I was the antithesis of everything good to her - a white, southern male who killed animals and ate meat. Yep, an animal serial killer.

I noticed that whenever I would come over that her cats would always come into the kitchen when I would cook, as I was cooking meat, and they were forced to eat seaweed or something equally icky and vegan. I knew that because she disliked all my meat eating, if I could get her cats to love me, it would really annoy her.

It's amazing how rubbing a little chicken grease on your shoelaces keeps cats sitting at your feet and licking your shoes your all night long.

Late Night Snack for The King

Yesterday was Elvis Presley's birthday, and I missed it. He would have been 78. Happy belated birthday to the King of Rock and Roll.

My New Year's Resolution prevents me from having this late night snack, that Elvis once had but that shouldn't stop you. (No, it's not the peanut butter and banana sandwich.)

Post Debate Thoughts

Don't worry, unlike some celebrities, there are no curse words here. (I used all mine up last Saturday anyway.) The debates were pretty interesting when viewed in the context of each other. The final debate was most interesting as to what the candidates thought about the state of the race.

First a little recap. In the first debate, Romney came out hard, attacking, playing the prosecutor. At the same time, Obama thought he could just show up, recite his stump speech and win. Alas, it was not to be.

The first debate showed two things. One, Romney wasn't the evil guy that all the attack ads made him out to be. He actually had a plan for the future, and he could explain it. Two, Obama just didn't have the fire that he did four years ago. He was just "checking the box" of the debate, and his plan is to continue with "investing" in roads, bridges, and the same stuff he's been saying for four years. Romney ate his lunch, and everyone knew it. Well, almost everyone.

I think that Obama was playing a prevent defense too early. He knew he had a good lead in some important swing states, and he was simply going to show up, recite his stump speech, not make any major errors, and keep the election on it's current trajectory. As John Madden once said, "All a prevent defense does is prevent you from winning." That's exactly what happened. Romney scored touchdowns, and Obama wasn't even trying to play offense.

The second debate was what everyone thought the first debate was going to be. Both candidates came out of the gate hard, challenged each other, and at one point, I actually thought they were going to start hitting each other with the cordless microphones. Obama to his credit, responded well, showing that he still wanted the job. The energy debate centered on who was more in favor of drilling, which must have driven the environmentalists insane. In any event, basically a tie. However, the damage had been done in the first debate. The people who tuned in for the first debate had formed their impression. Relevant quote for this debate: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

The final debate was on foreign policy. Or at least it was supposed to be. At a few points in the debate, both candidates decided that they were just going to talk about domestic policy. Bob Sheiffer decided that he wasn't going to interrupt and get them back on the topic of foreign policy (or maybe he fell asleep) and the candidates talked about domestic policy for at least 10 minutes each in a 90 minute debate. Oh well, when the economy and domestic policy is as important as it is this election cycle, there aren't many votes to be had going into detail about foreign policy. Just kill the bad guys, which both candidates are in favor of.

Very differently than before, though, Romney came across as not the prosecutor, but the calm guy who was reasonable. He wasn't going to be the "Cowboy" President, unlike that last Republican in the White House. Romney agreed with Obama more in 90 minutes than he did in the entire campaign. Romney didn't attack Obama when given chances. On the contrary, Obama attacked Romney. All I can take away from this is that Obama thought he was behind (which he is) and Romney thought he was ahead (which he is). It was just the flip side of the first debate. The question is, does Romney's prevent defense work at this point, or does the Romney momentum fade too soon?

Ultimately: Most people voted for Obama last time. Why? Remember where we were four years ago? The outgoing Republican incumbent was toxic, and Obama was such a great story. It was a great combination that created a tidal wave of support. The landscape today couldn't be more different. The economy has been mired in the doldrums for four years, and the inspirational candidate from four years ago isn't here. This version of Obama is petty and condescending.

People desperately want the economy to get better, and they have a binary choice: Government continues to try and solve the problem, or government gets out of the way. We'll know in a few weeks. It's going to get more intense before then, so brace yourself - especially if you live in a swing state.

Is Ireland Like the South?

Garden & Gun has a nice article about the English-based folk/rock band Mumford and Sons. One line in particular caught my attention:

“The South is a lot like Ireland,” he says. “I have no family, no connections at all. But within a week you meet everyone’s relatives. That never happens in England.

I always hear about how "reserved" the British are, and I thought that extended to the Irish. Maybe it doesn't. I wonder if the Irish and English view each other in a similar manner that Northerners and Southerners in the USA do. If so, where does that put Scotland?

Thinking about the Irish/Southern analogy more: There's a similar history of armed conflict (that both losing sides are still somewhat sore about) and there is a similar agrarian/industrial difference. Now...we just need the Irish to dominate a sport like the SEC dominates college football, and we'll be complete. Drinking is a sport over there, right?

Read the whole article at Garden & Gun.

USMC Goes From 9mm Back To .45

So the Columbia City Police recently switched to 9mm. But now, the United States Marine Corps is going to .45, back to the future.

The Colt .45 M1911 is making a big comeback, now that the U.S. Marines have placed a $22.5 million order for the Connecticut-made pistols

The 1911 is making a comeback? In the words of LL Cool J: "Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years".

I don't believe the 1911 has ever been actually taken out of service. I think the M-9 was a "supplement" to the 1911, but I could be wrong.

The argument about going into combat zone with 18-19 rounds of 9mm ammo vs. going in with 8-9 rounds of .45 ammo seems a little silly to me. The military's primary weapons are long guns. The main purpose of a sidearm (for the military) is to give them enough time to bring the long guns (carbines, rifles, etc.) to bear, but I digress.