The SC GOP Primary is Upon Us (These are my demands)

During my day today, I've heard three different radio ads (all negative) from either candidates or a PAC, my television has been swamped with political ads since last night. Also, I believe most of the candidates are here, and all the national press is in town. There's so much political activity in the air, you can really almost smell the bullshit.

I'm prepared to be pandered to for the short time that everyone is here. These are my demands:

1. Stop running political ads during sporting events on TV. I watch sports to get away from y'all.
2. Do not call me on the phone. Ever. (If I want to hear from you, I will go to an event).
3. Stop talking about social issues. If you get a question about a social issue, tell the questioner that we have bigger problems to deal with and move on.
4. Quit asking me for money. (I didn't ask you to run for President.)

If any other South Carolinian has demands, feel free to let me know. I'll add the good ones.