Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Optimal Siege Tactics for Cinderella's Castle

Here is your mission, should you choose to accept it: Take down Cinderella's Castle in Disney's Magic Kingdom. However, there is also another objective:
Secondary Objective: While in Fantasyland we will have the opportunity to take down the menace of all parents everywhere. The "It's a Small World" ride will be within our reach. Our secondary objective is to eliminate the ride with extreme prejudice. This isn't a capture mission like the castle, but one of complete annihilation. Expect heavy casualties as their adorable repetitiveness burns into your skulls like white phosphorous in the jungle. Our sacrifices will be great, but our suffering is in the name of protecting others.
It's surprisingly detailed. Read the whole thing for an interesting time-suck.

Prepare to Deploy to the TeaCup Ride!

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