My default position is to enjoy most sports. I played organized sports growing up and through college, and I still do. I love competition. I get infinitely more enjoyment in going to the gym and playing racquetball for an hour rather than doing a virtual stair-climber or running in place on a treadmill. As an extreme example, even when I watch Olympic curling I find the strategy/skill involved to be fairly interesting. This all is preface to my main point.
I'm not impressed that you're a runner. More below the jump:
I see lots of folks out there running. That's cool. Good for you getting out there and putting one foot in front of another at a faster pace than walking. I learned to do that when I was about 5 years old, and I think I mastered the whole running thing at about age 7. Running was what our ancient cavemen ancestors used to do when a scary animal was chasing them. It's been around for awhile. But is it a sport? Probably not. Is it interesting? Certainly not. Running is a survival skill that has just been copied. It didn't even evolve into something more interesting like basketball, baseball, or football. Heck, even Eskimos sliding meat across frozen ice evolved into curling. Running was just copied.
When I see a great MLB pitcher (Greg Maddux for instance) I'd love to sit down and pick his brain about pitching, what his strategy is for getting certain types of hitters out, techniques he has, and so on. That would be really interesting. I could listen to him talk about pitching for hours. Same for a good quarterback, running back, hockey player, or even a good point guard. There are endless athletes who display skill and strategy, and I'm impressed with them beyond belief.
But running? I never see a runner and think: Wow, I'd really love to pick his brain about...you know...running around. Sure, it's cool that some people can run real fast. Ok, fine. Whatever. Whenever I see a track athlete, I think: He probably has really crappy coordination, or he'd be playing football, soccer, or something more enjoyable than just running really fast. Even worse are long-distance runners.
Long-distance runners today aren't particularly fast, but they just keep running. Nice job, Forrest. Anyone can do it. You just run for awhile and your body gets used to it. Congratulations on running for an hour or so, dude. There are lots of things that people can do for a long time if you practice. Maybe I should become a world champion rope-jumper. I could probably jump-rope all day if I practiced. However, that might actually be more impressive than long distance running since it requires timing and coordination.
So runners, please do us all a favor and keep the details of your running to yourself. No one cares that you did the ol' "left foot, right foot" thing for 10 miles today. Don't tweet about it, don't Facebook about it, and stop talking about it. And for guy runners, two additional helpful hints from Permanent Press: (1) Chicks are not impressed with your running, so going to a bar and declining to drink because you "have a marathon tomorrow" isn't awesome. All the girls will be talking to QB1 after they find out you're a runner; and (2) please stop wearing the really short shorts. If I want to see hot-pants, I'll go to a football game and look at the cheerleaders.
Running is simply a part of other sports - you know, moving faster than the other guy to either get to the ball, tackle someone, get away from a defender, or otherwise move into position. As for just running to run, I've never really seen the point.
As an illustration of how boring and stupid running is, I was trying to think of the most memorable moment in running for me. Far and away, this is it:
That's the most amazing, inspiring display of running I've seen in a sports context. I'd love to sit down and buy Derek Redmond a beer and talk about that race. So....if you're a runner, spare me the blathering about your running unless you're finishing a race with a pulled hamstring.
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