The State Newspaper is Really Pushing the Voter ID Issue

Fourth Article in Two Weeks

For those of you not paying attention, South Carolina just enacted a law that requires an individual to show a photo ID in order to vote. I know, insanity. Those evil Republicans know that black people don't have photo IDs! All that photo ID stuff is for rich honkeys. Politicians in SC are just keeping the black man down.

In this seemingly never-ending series of articles, The State has been highlighting the plight of the poor folks who won't be able to vote because of the new law. The story (my favorite so far) of the most recent victim of this evil law, Mr. Everett Garlington, below the fold.

 The State beings this tear-jerking story of oppression by letting us know right up front why this new law is so terrible:

His trouble: He misplaced his driver’s license.

Oh noooes! He misplaced his driver's license! What are we going to do? He's finished. As Bill Paxton famously said: Game over, man! Now, I know what you're thinking. "But Bryan, why doesn't dear Mr. Garlington just do down to the DMV and get a replacement?" How very naive and innocent of you, dear reader. The State explains it to you:

True, he could get a replacement, but it will cost him more than $160 — money he said the Department of Motor Vehicles wants because years ago he was late turning in a license plate.

What's that you say? It will cost money to obtain a new photo ID? Blasphemy! Wait! It's going to cost poor Mr. Garlington more money than usual because he failed to comply with another law requiring him to timely surrender a license plate? We can't really expect Mr. Garlington to comply with all these ticky-tack "laws" made by the white man. Mr. Garlington should be entitled to break whatever laws he wants and have the state issue him a continuous supply of photo IDs for free. Here's the final stroke of the argument from The State:

“If they had an election today, I couldn’t vote,” said Garlington, 59.

I have some late-breaking news, Mr. Garlington: We're not having an election today. However, in the hypothetical election in the precinct of Fantasy-Land, yes you would not be able to vote. However, that election isn't very important; Fantasy-Land isn't running a budget deficit, money grows on trees, and everyone has a pet Unicorn.

I'm just wondering when Mr. Garlington "misplaced" his ID? Was it yesterday? Was it several years ago? Also, even without the new law requiring a photo ID to vote, won't he still have to go obtain a new photo ID? The general election day is November 6, 2012. That gives Mr. Garlington 476 days until the election. Is he not planning on getting an ID before then anyway?

In any event, I'm glad the crack news team of The State newspaper is here to report on the really big stories. If you're against the Voter ID law, fine, but come armed with a serious argument next time. Hey y'all, I have a big story for you: I misplaced my subscription to your stupid newspaper.